Believing my own lie, I let my guard down, living blissfully unaware of what was coming.
One night, as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, a band of characters - dressed as ninjas, of course - grabbed me and locked me in a closet with nothing but a half-eaten wheel of smelly cheese, a dried up crust of pumpernickel, and a caffeine-free Diet Coke.
Hours later, they opened the door. Curled up in the fetal position and mumbling to myself, I was deep in the throes of chocolate withdrawal.
Their sole demand was simple, yet too much to ask - my blog. I protested with what little strength remained, determined to resist until the bitter end.
But then they waved a Heath Bar in front of me.
I was weak.
And so it begins...[tap, tap, tap] Is this thing on? I swear I pushed the button -
What? We're live? Well, why didn't anyone say so?
[squeal] What in tarnation? I mean... [clears throat]
|Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net|
Here at DCDSU, we pride ourselves in excellence. Our highly skilled teachers will guide you through your journey. (Unless you're completely helpless, like my cousin Leroy. Heaven knows there's nothing to be done for that boy, bless his heart.)
Allow me to introduce myself - I am Amos Mosley, head of DCDSU. With over five decades of both dragon slaying and dream chasing experience (I'm not saying I'm old, mind you), it's my personal belief balance in all things is essential to a productive learning environment (at least, that's how I was raised). This balance is reflected in our exceptionally qualified staff.
[muffled] Stop laughing, Mr. Hart. Don't think I can't see you.
Creativity and HeartElliot Chase, from our Department of Dream Chasing, excels in creative solutions and outside-the-box thinking. Stuck in a rut? Caught in a quandary? He's the man to help you find your way out. (Despite what the some of the Dragon Slayers say, his man card is not, nor has it ever been, revoked. You'll have to forgive our little department rivalry. Our teachers are highly passionate. Besides, a little competition never hurt anybody.)
[muffled] Well, it doesn't, Mr. Chase. I don't know what you're all fired up over. It was only a little joke.
What? Oh. Yes. Where was I again?
Intelligence and OrganizationOur other Dream Chasing Department Head is the one and only Laila Fernando. Her organizational skills are second to none (I should know - she whipped my office into shape her first day on the job, then threatened me if I dared to leave a paperclip out of place). Time management, spatial organization, and computer know-how round out her resume. She can be a little instense (don't mess with her if you know what's good for you), but her heart is pure gold.
Strength and DeterminationCameron Hart, our Dragon Slaying guru, has a go-to attitude and gets the job done (rather forcefully at times, but he means well). No dragon stands a chance against his strength and determination. He's quite the jokester, though, so watch your back (as Mr. Chase can surely attest to, although I don't condone such actions. Poor boy is still pulling tinsel out of his desk chair. You should have seen his face, though, when he found it. It was priceless...)
[muffled] I said I don't condone it, Mr. Chase. Doesn't mean I can't laugh. Lighten up, boy. I swear...
Spirit and IngenuityAnd last, but certainly not least, is Melanie Flynn. Don't let her diminutive size fool you. She's quite the spitfire. What she lacks for in size, she more than makes up for in spirit and ingenuity. She can outmaneuver the wiliest of beasts (and I'm not just talking about dragons here) before they even know she's there.
[muffled] How on earth can that qualify as harassment? I swear... You didn't have to worry about this nonsense when I began dragon slaying and dream chasing. Don't you have lessons to prepare?
In ConclusionAs you can see, our DCDSU family is more than qualified, if a little, uh, interesting.
[muffled] Well, what do you want me to say? It's the truth, isn't it?
Are you ready to take the first step into your future? Classes begin a week from today. Don't miss out on this opportunity! (How anyone can pass it up is beyond me.)
[muffled] It that it? We're done now, right? Well, let's shut it down and lock it tight. Can't let Miss James get back in. I aim to see this thing through to the end...