I have a problem.
Okay, so I have a whole lot more than one. But the one I'm referencing today involves photos.
A while back, I decided to start a family yearbook using digital means because I don't have the patience to scrapbook. (Two hours for a single spread? Who has time for that?!) As I sorted through the pictures, I noticed something. Or rather, a lack of something.
There's a reason for that. Being the freakishly proud wife and mother I am, I end up running the camera most of the time. I have a bajillion photos of my kids - just ask anyone I'm friends with on Facebook. I have half a bajillion of Handyman Husband because he happens to not be running the camera. There's grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and everyone else on the planet. But there are very few of me.
As in almost none.
That was unacceptable. So I started taking selfies. Lots and lots of selfies. I wanted my kids and grandkids to look back and know what I looked like once upon a time.
But that led to another problem. I HATE doing selfies. No, seriously. I hate them. They never look right and it feels so conceited and self-absorbed.
BUT if I don't take my own picture, it doesn't get done. And you miss out on beauties like this one:
All joking aside, the holidays are coming and I have a very serious request.
Please photograph me.
Yes, please photograph me. I want pictures where my hair's a mess and I'm talking with food in my mouth. I want the fake duck lips where I'm making fun of taking selfies.
I want to be caught yelling at my kids, shaking my finger at them for emphasis.
I want pictures from when I'm so tired, I'm "fake drunk", as my sister puts it. (And yes, I have texted her while in that state of mind. No matter what she says, I am hilarious. Especially when I'm fake drunk.)
So what if the picture doesn't turn out perfect? So what if I look like I have a double chin or like a zombie mom because I didn't put on makeup? Or I'm lounging in my yoga pants and glasses because I was too lazy to make an effort? It happens. More often than I care to admit...
I'm not perfect. Why should every single photo of me be flawless? That's unrealistic. Even movie stars and models have off days. In fact, very rarely do they look like they do on magazine covers.
Besides, when I look at pictures of other people, there are very few "bad" photos. Yeah, maybe they're in awkward poses or there's a zit on their chin, but they look just like they do in real life.
That's because they're real people, not Barbie dolls or mannequins.
Thank goodness, too. Could you imagine having to smile that much or having to keep up that kind of charade? It's exhausting just thinking about it!
When my kids look at pictures of me, I want them to remember who I really am. And that includes all my quirks, mistakes, and craziness. I want them know what the back of my head looks like. And my feet. (You don't get feet in selfies and I love my feet. My descendants need to know I have great taste in shoes, you know.)
One day, I'm going to look back on my life and there will be things I regret. But not having enough pictures of me while I was young will not be one of them. So I ask once more - photograph me. I'm begging you.